3 Tips to Improve Your Dating Strategy
The guys are still ghosting and we’re still dating. I’m really proud of us girlies who keep our hopes high and energy positive amidst the gender wars, 50/50 conversations and general agitation from online dating. I recently went on a lackluster date with a gentleman who after stopped communicating. Maybe he could tell I was unimpressed or even annoyed with his questions and lack of class but I ain’t mad at him.
I could have told him, we wouldn't be going out again or that I’m exploring more options and I hope he finds the connection that works well. But, I’m fine with him dipping out my text.
I decided to take a different approach to dating this year and so far it’s been really freeing. I’m all about dating with intention but I also feel that intentionality can be one of those buzzwords that suck the fun out of the process. Had I been envisioning our wedding, babies and not simply enjoying the moment where we were, date two, I probably could have caused myself to be disappointed.
Intentions are good and we should have them while also acknowledging things we desire for our future relationship. The intention to enjoy myself while learning about someone is just as good as an intention as dating with the intent to marry. You get to define what purposeful dating means to you.
What do you want out of dating? What type of experiences do you want to have with new people? Here are 3 tips that I’m letting guide my dating strategy that you may find helpful.
Release Your Dating Outcomes
Can you date with the goal in mind to enjoy getting to know each other and having a great time? Everyone you date will not be a great match for you but you won’t know it until you go out and see what they’re giving off and sharing with you about themselves. If you approach everyone you meet with a “this is my future spouse”mindset it's gonna get weird quick. Just relax and date to get to know each other and enjoy the experience.
Roster Date
It’s perfectly fine to get to know multiple people at a time. The old school way of dating one guy at a time and waiting for him to ask for exclusivity is over, well unless you like the limbo. When you put all your hopes in a particular man “choosing” you, you give off the energy that you’re not preoccupied with living your own full and beautiful life. Not only do people sense “thirst,” but you may need to spend some more time pouring into your self confidence to peel that pressure off a man to give you what you can give yourself, unconditional love. Switch it up and date a few folks at a time and see which person levels up and puts in effort that makes you pay attention.
Be Yourself
When you’ve learned to like and love yourself, hiding yourself for love and acceptance become unacceptable. Vow to show up as your full self. If you laugh loud, laugh loud! If you want to rock your J’s and feel more comfortable in flats, baby wear those flats confidently. When you value yourself, you couldn’t care less about someone who rejected you for being you.
To get things you’ve never had, you need to start envisioning your life differently and doing things that you’ve never done. Take the unnecessary pressure off yourself around dating and what it has to look and feel like to become a fairytale ending. Just commit to enjoying getting to know new people, exploring new places and learning more about yourself in the process.
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