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  • Kierstin Johnson

To Be Single, Alive and Free

Can I just be blunt? I'm just gonna be blunt. I don't need permission but there's always a part of me that feels the need to be somewhat polite. Anyway, I love this life. I really do. Who the fuck wants to spend all of their time up under someone when there's so much life to live?

I'm not knocking those who've found their soulmates and have settled down. I'm more so uplifting the world of being single. I feel it's frowned upon at times. It's treated like Santa's island of misfit toys. I may be a misfit but I'm pretty solid living this life right now. It doesn't mean I don't get lonely because of course I get lonely. I want someone to mainly have sex with more than anything. I mean that's literally all I'd want from a partner right now. But I'm on a spiritual journey so even that isn't a bottle I get to drink from and that's ok. Fingers work just as good as a big ole dick. Not really, but I keep telling myself that for the time being.

One thing I've learned about being single is I have so much I want to get done. It's not impossible to accomplish your goals with your partner at all. Shit some people have a bigger career once their partner is introduced into their lives. I'll use Beyonce as an example. Fact of the matter is her relationship was a chess move and one that has had her winning in the game ever since.

When two people collaborate on such a level it ups the vibrations for both people.

Jay wouldn't be as hot without her ether. Again, chess moves. And I am allllll for this but one thing you have to acknowledge with them both, is that hard work was put into motion before even entering into the relationship and I think that's the key. A lot of us put our dreams aside once we enter certain relationships. The focus is just lost. I call these trials and tribulations. Because after all it really is a test by the Universe if you ask me.

How many of us already know what we wanna do with our lives??

I for one know what I want to do with my life and I know exactly what I want out of life. So, if I'm being honest with myself a relationship just wouldn't help me get closer to it. Not right now anyway. It doesn't mean I haven't learned anything from the relationships I've engaged in; it just means I may have gotten to where I want to be a lot sooner had I not allowed myself to get caught up with temporary love.

Some people are tests, some people are lessons and some people are pure f**king distractions.

It's up to you to use your intuition better and recognize the signs before you get in too deep. We really have to stop settling. We have got to stop possessing one another in a way that keeps us in unfulfilled relationships. It brings down both people. You know you deserve better right?

I know age, the media, and other things can play a factor, but the fact of the matter is, that at the end of the day you are responsible for all of your decisions, be it good or bad. People always show us who they are prior to us getting in too deep. The signs are there, so why are you making excuses about it? We can come up with everything in the book but you know damn well your partner is not who you want to spend every single day of your life with. Kids can play a factor. I know we all want that happy home where both parents are present but we also know in the long run it leaves both people exhausted. It leaves both people feeling a certain level of emptiness. It leaves you with the thought of "what if I had..." Well if you had stuck to your guns about what you really wanted from life you would be in a different place and possibly with a different person. And that's ok!!!

I feel like I'm bashing those in a relationship so let me just clarify some things. I'm speaking to a certain person and/or people. Those who are miserable and are just too damn scared to jump into the unknown of self.

You have to know yourself very well before you commit to sharing your life with someone else.

Do you know how much my mind has changed over the past decade?! A lot! So much I had to realize I was a hypocrite. Or a nicer way to put it, someone who simply keeps evolving and my mindset is one of the main things that comes with that growth. There is no need to fear Santas island of misfit toys. Its rather fun if I do say so myself.

When you take the time to join, you learn about you. You love you more than anything else. And you should, because when you love you the most it is so much easier to love those around you and to recognize the fake love people have often given you.

Self love pushes you towards your goals and dreams.

It keeps you from settling and engaging with those who won't add to your vibration but more so bring it down. Energy vampires they're often called. Some of us have married them, work for them and the list goes on. It is time you put yourself first and if that means being single then embrace it. Learn the ways of being single, alive and free. Once you do you'll realize it's not summer break in Miami single, alive and free. It's vacation in the Canary Islands single, alive and free and that shit hits a whole lot different.

But what do I know. I'm just a single woman in her 30s still living with her parents enjoying life more than I ever have before. *shrugs*