Singleness is a gift...
Updated: Dec 16, 2020
These seem to be every married couple's favorite phrase to recite to us single folk. Next is the phrase "Enjoy this time" and it literally takes everything in me not to tell them to SHUT THE F*CK UP!
Look, I know this season is about me finding myself and learning my likes and dislikes, but if I'm totally honest, I sometimes feel incredibly lonely in this season too! Don't get me wrong, I have great friends and an amazing family, but sometimes I want companionship and not to mention... I would really enjoy sliding on someone's mouth like a cello everyone now and then.
Waiting is one of the hardest seasons for me and I keep myself occupied by focusing on work or doing miscellaneous things, but when everything is quite, and I am home alone, tipsy off my two glasses of chardonnay, the thought pops right back in my head, 'You're single'. Followed by the infamous 'What's wrong with me' thought. I mean, I know nothing is wrong with me... but I admit the thought does cross my mind every now and then. However, I have gotten better with recognizing these thoughts and I have trained myself not to ponder on them longer than necessary. 10 seconds tops!
Not that this song has anything to do with the post, the song just popped into my head after the 10 seconds bit...so enjoy :)
Just the other day, I was having a conversation with one of my wisest friends, Megan. All Me(a)gan's are geniuses btw. We were just discussing how it seems that every single one of our friends are tying the knot or having children. I mean it's incredibly hard not to play the comparison game in the era of social media. Our conversation highlighted our want for a relationship and not our need for one. Then we got on this tangent about how dating for women is completely different than dating is for men. Men are allowed to be busy and they're allowed to cancel at the last minute, but when a woman is busy she doesn't have time for dating or she isn't prioritizing it.
Ummm excuse the f*ck out of me.... Why do I need to prioritize a complete stranger? I thought I was the prize?
Why am I supposed to be altering my schedule to fit some guy in for drinks at the last minute... Can't you guys plan? I really don't think I am asking for too much when I say that I would like for a date to be planned properly. Ask me my schedule or when I'm free, then plan around that! Don't give me a 2 hours notice for a drink meetup, it's rude and incredibly inconsiderate. I could even go on an even longer rant about how much I hate drink dates... I'm a thick girl...FEED ME, please!
Although there are moments that I despise being single there are just as many that I love. One reason is... I have a lot of freedom, like a lot! I am able to travel at a moments notice (well not now because of the rona). I can spend my money any which way... which I need to stop doing, who is down for a money saving challenge? I'm able to fully focus on my personal and professional goals.
I am trying to take the prophet Paul's approach to life and remind myself that I need to learn to be content in any situation. My happiness isn't a direct reflection of my circumstances and I need to learn how detach myself from that type of thinking. I must choose happiness, joy, peace and love everyday. I'm learning to it in other ways and not just in a relationship status. I'm becoming more like Marie Kondo and figuring out what in my life...
I just hope if you are reading this and if you are feeling the same way, you realize you aren't the only one struggling with loneliness in this season. There is nothing wrong with you and everything meant for you will come to you, at the right time! All we need is to be patient and enjoy the journey. We typically miss a lot of what life has to offer because we are too focused or worried about the future. But as a wise man once said "The present is a gift, that's why it's called the Present".
All of this was brought to you by my weekly Cancer emotional meltdown! As always if this blessed you, share it and if you hated it, keep it to yourself :)